Introduction

“O love is a crooked thing,” observed poet William Butler Yeats, “and no one intelligent enough to find out everything that is in it.” [1] Even if you’ve been dating for a while, it might be difficult to know if someone is in love with you. However, love may take many forms, and identifying the characteristics of a long-term relationship, as well as paying attention to your girlfriend’s words and behavior, might help you figure out if she loves you.

Identifying Signs of a Long-Term Commitment

Understand the distinction between falling in love and remaining in love. While there are many complex emotions linked with falling in love, it is typically a passive and emotional experience. However, remaining in love may be quite tough and necessitates a more active and committed relationship strategy. [2]

• Consider “love” as a verb, or an activity that you must continue to encourage and support as your relationship progresses. Consider how your girlfriend contributes to and nurtures her connection with you, and whether yours is as good as, if not better than, when you first fell in love.
• Your girlfriend may reaffirm and commit to the relationship every day, even in little or seemingly trivial ways, by her actions and words.

Consider how you and your partner handle disagreements in your relationship. Fight, Flight, or Freeze behaviors are used by most couples with inadequate conflict resolution abilities. As a result, they argue and remain enraged, sometimes harboring grudges or hatred for months or even years. They take to the air and push uncomfortable or tough problems under the rug. Alternatively, they may become emotionally frozen and shut down, obstructing all attempts to communicate or resolve the problem. [3]

• Successful couples who are devoted to their relationship for the long haul will aim to resolve any issues as quickly as possible. Rather of fighting each other or freezing each other out, they will concentrate on resolving the problem.
• Both parties in a healthy, loving relationship should be able to forgive and forget, since any residual resentment that is not addressed and dealt with can lead to further drama or conflict down the road, and will work against the partnership’s long-term sustainability.

Consider whether your priorities and life objectives are comparable. This is a crucial step in committing to your partner on a practical level, as well as a crucial one in her commitment to you.

• Although opposites attract, they seldom make for a strong long-term relationship, and compatibility in your tastes and preferences, as well as your beliefs, objectives, and life goals, can help you and your girlfriend form a deep and enduring bond.[4]

Determine whether or not you and your girlfriend share the four aspects of intimacy. Physical, emotional, intellectual, and shared activities are four ways we might feel close to our significant other, according to authors Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor II. To test if you and your girlfriend have all four qualities of intimacy, complete the following exercise: [5]

• In a vertical line, write out the four dimensions. On the top of the list of dimensions, write Partner A and Partner B.
• Choose if each dimension is a “Must” have, a “Should” have, or a “Could” have for your connection next to it.
• Give your companion the list and ask them to rate the dimensions. Alternatively, write down how you believe your spouse would rank these dimensions.
• The more “must-must” and “must-should” combinations you and your partner have, the more likely you and your partner are to have an intimate and long-term connection. Because no relationship, even a good, loving one, is ever static, the rankings of each dimension may grow over time to become even more complementary.
• Understanding each other’s priorities, especially in three key areas, is essential for long-term relationship success and love.

Inquire about your girlfriend’s feelings around your friends and relatives. If your friends and family are urging you to quit your relationship or leave your partner, it might be a sign the individual isn’t right for you. [6]

• Though it’s vital to follow your own instincts and feelings, it’s typically a good indicator if your friends and family are supportive of your relationship and believe you have long-term potential together.

Paying Attention to the Words and Actions of Your Girlfriend

When she speaks to you, pay attention to the tone of her voice. Compare how she communicates with you versus how she communicates with others. If your girlfriend speaks to you in a lovely, kind, and compassionate tone, it’s probable that she thinks of you as a significant person in her life and cares profoundly about you. [7]

Observe whether she prefers to spend the majority of her time with you and makes frequent phone calls. Spending time in a relationship is a strong predictor of long-term commitment, especially if your partner is juggling other responsibilities such as school, employment, or family. Someone who genuinely cares about you will take advantage of whatever free time they have to be alone with you. [8]

• Love causes your brain to release serotonin, and it’s thought that excessive amounts of serotonin might drive you to obsess about a lover. As a result, the more your lover calls or chats to you, the more they are thinking about you, which is a (chemical) sign of their love for you. [9]

Consider what she could say if she asks about your day the next time she sees you. While this may appear to be a simple gesture, it demonstrates that she cares about even the smallest parts of your life. These check-ins can also help you maintain open lines of communication and provide a practical, supporting element to your connection. [10]

Look for indications that she values your opinion and judgment. Perhaps you hold differing political beliefs or disagree on the best method to make risotto. Regardless of these differences, she should be receptive to hearing your point of view and should regard your opinions with respect and curiosity. [11]

• If your spouse genuinely cares about you, they should be open to hearing your thoughts and beliefs and engaging in courteous, respectful debates on topics on which you may disagree.
• She should also feel at ease involving you in decisions, whether they are little such as where you should have supper or major such as whether she should accept a new job. Even if she doesn’t always follow your counsel, she should be interested in hearing what you have to say and considering it.

Keep an eye on her to see if she keeps an eye on you or continually asks where you are. Because they are devoted to trusting you, partners who genuinely care will give you the benefit of the doubt and will not snoop around on your smartphone or check your credit card bills to figure out where you’ve been or who you’ve been with. [12]

• This type of trust demonstrates genuine concern and is a strong indicator of a long-term commitment.

Take into account whether or not your partner makes you feel good about yourself. Your self-esteem and feeling of self will be boosted by a spouse who cares about you. They should provide you favorable feedback and make you feel special. [13]

• This isn’t to say that your relationship will always be perfect, but you should feel as though your partner provides you self-assurance and support rather than negative ideas or poor self-esteem. When you’re with someone who makes you happy, you’ll not only want to spend more time with them, but you’ll also think of yourself more favorably when you’re not with them.

Talking About Your Emotions

Create a quiet, personal atmosphere. In a busy setting, declarations of love, whether from you or from her, may be more difficult to make, so prepare supper at home or take her to a lonely area in the park where you can have a meaningful chat about your feelings.

• This will also help you both feel at ease and more comfortable communicating honestly and freely.

Be upfront and honest. You’ll have the best chance of understanding how your girlfriend feels about you if you’re candid and direct. [14]

Don’t be frightened to express your feelings. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions; your girlfriend may need some encouragement to tell you about her love for you.

• If you care deeply about her, let her know so that she feels free to express her feelings.

References